


This isn't happening (it's totally happening)

by littlemissstark315



Category: Lethal Weapon (TV)
Genre: Emotional Constipation, M/M, Some Heavy Petting, repressing feelings, rodger being drunk, this is riggs so duh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:27:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14432493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissstark315/pseuds/littlemissstark315
Summary: When Trish kicks Rodger out he has no where to go. So he sleeps in the police station but the police station kicks him out. So he crashes at Riggs trailer but Riggs being Riggs, alcohol is involved, things happen and feelings are brought to light and Riggs can't handle it so he does what he does best: pretend feelings don't exist. But thats hard to do when you have to see your partner everyday and remember what his lips taste like.





	1. Chapter 1

Riggs wasn’t surprised when his partner showed up at his doorstep of his mobile home.

He knew it was only a matter of time before he finally realized he had a friend to mooch off of while he figured out his marriagerocky patch.Riggs took in a breath. Amused way too much than he should be with the situation. “Station finally kick you out?”

 

Rodger had a mocked hurt face but it was more subtle than when he normally did it which made Riggs realize yes, he actually was hurting. “I am hurt you think they would kick me out.” Riggs just stared him down, Rodger buckled. “They kicked me out. Trish won’t let me in the house. I don’t have anywhere else to go.” Riggs nodded, moving to open the door fully. “Aright, get in here, you look like a kicked dog.” “Oh Thanks,kick a man when he’s down. Real hospitable of you.” “I never claimed to be hospitable, that was all you.”Rodger rolled his eyes as he stepped through the small threshold, looking around as Rigs made things presentable. “I guess cleaning isn’t in your vocabulary?” “Well I don’t exactly host parties Rodge.” Rodger huffed as he lifted an old box of stale cereal. “Obviously.” Riggs grabbed it. “Are you going to keep insultingyour hotel for the night? I can double charge you.” Rodger laughed. “Now that would be interesting.”

 

Riggs sat down, grabbing a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass. Rodgers mood suddenly turned sour. “Really? I thought you were done."” “Not for me.” Rodger gave him a look. “I’m not here to drink. I just need a place to sleep.” Riggs sat up, elbows on his knees. As his therapist often does with him. “Rodge. You know what your problem is? You don’t express your feelings.” Rodger gasped but Riggs kept talking. “You talk and talk and talk and throw salt around but but he end of the day you haven’t expressed an ounce of actual emotion.” “And you’re the king of knowing how to deal with emotions?” “Hey, at least I express mine, didn’t say in healthy ways.” “And drinking is a way of getting me to express myself?”

 

“Of course. Your wife dumped you, ran over your motorcycle, keeps arguing with you where it hurts. I’m sure there’s some anger under that calm, controlled face.”Rodger knew he was doing the worst thing he could do.

 

He brought a chair to the rickety table that the whiskey sat on, Riggs sitting there with a smug smile on his face because he knows he’s right. “Alright Riggs. I’m gonna have a shot but it does not mean that I am angry or upset. It just means I’m having a drink. Ok?” “Sure.”

 

“That Fucking bitch! Who does she think she is?!”

 

Riggs almost regretted his decision (and made a mental note to apologize to anyone that had deal with him being drunk and emotional) because three shots in. Rodger was beyond buzzed and a little more than drunk and his emotions were worn on his sleeve as he paced the trailer.

 

“I mean I paid good, honest money for that motorcycle and she just runs it over?! Like it’s nothing?! You know what I’d get if I did something like that?!” Riggs shrugged. “No, please, tell the audience how you really feel.” “I fee fucking angry!” Riggs nodded, letting him know he was listening but even if he wasn't, Rodgers voice made it impossible not to hear. “I feel hurt.“ Suddenly all the angry sorta left him, like a balloon deflating. Riggs got up, standing in front of him. Now Rodger need someone to actually talk to him. “She hasn’t exactly been playing fair.” “No she hasn’t Riggs, your damn right.” Riggs nodded. Rodger continued. “I mean, I gave my life for her, we have three beautiful kids but she never once wants to think of things from my perspective. She doesn’t know what it’s like to be a cop.” Riggs shrugged. “I don’t want to be that person but maybe it’s time to end things, on good terms I mean. Maybe you’ve both fallen out of it ya know? Might need someone that understands all that.” Rodger nodded and wobbled as he took a step. Riggs took a quick hold of him. “Whoa there, let’s get you on the couch.”

 

He lead Rodger to the couch,unceremoniously setting him down with a plop. Rodger groaned. “Gentle. I’m drunk.” Riggs let out an amused sound as he sat next to him, shoulder tot shoulder. “Barely But sure.”

 

Suddenly Rodgers arms were around his shoulders. Snuggling him. He sighed. He should have known. Rodger, sentimental sap that he is, is a cuddlier when drunk. “You know Riggs..” “Yes?” Riggs answered, half paying attention and half tempted to get drunk himself, staring at the bottle.

 

“You know you are one of the best cops I’ve ever known.” “Thanks you Rodger.” He said in that tone that said “I don’t believe but I’ll go with it” Rodger could still sniff that tone  out even half drunk. “No. Seriously. You're insane and in need of some real help but you are a great cop and a great man. Don’t let anyone tell you anything else.” Rigs didn’t like where he was going. It was too honest. Too vulnerable. Drunk people almost always told the truth because they can’t help it.As Riggs attempted to get away from the unwanted snuggles, Rodger continued. “Really, I want you to Believe that for yourself. You don’t give yourself enough credit. You're smart, you're a fast problem solver, even if it is a bit unorthodox and life threatening and you're not too bad to look at either.” Riggs half chuckled at that. “Rodge, you’re drunk as a skunk-“

 

Suddenly lips were on his and a hand around his waist and he was so confused. What the fuck was happening? Where did this come from? Why didn’t he want him to stop?

 

He kissed back, getting lost in it. He’s been with a few woman after Miranda but nothing sparked that fire in his belly like this. He kissed back with the same fire, opening his mouth as invitation which Rodger took greedily, deepening the kiss as he pushed rRggs down on the ratty sofa, straddling him.

 

It was a blur of kissing and grinding and Riggs didn’t realize what had happened until he came down from the afterglow of one of the best orgasms he’s had since...

 

Since Miranda.

 

The thought made his heart lurch and guilt bubble it’s way up as he pushes Rodger off him, feeling disgusted. God, he came in his pants like a teenager, what the hell?

 

Rodger looked hurt but sleepy. “Riggs, What? You ok?” Rigs stood, showing Rodger away. “No, I’m not fucking ok. We are gonna clean up and forget this happened.” “Riggs, don’t say that.” “You’re fucking married! Rough patch or not, I don’t need Trish coming down to castrate me! Now let’s just clean up and get some sleep.”

 

Sleep came easy to Rodger, thanks to two more shots of the whiskey while Riggs sat curled on his sofa, mind reeling from what just happened. How much he enjoyed it. How much he didn’t want it to atop. He wiped his eyes and fell into a fitful sleep filled with guilt and Miranda’s face.

 

When he woke up, he woke to Rodger cooking something or other. (Did he even gave actual food in his trailer?)he groaned. “Rodger, wha the hell?” Rodger turned. “See your awake sleepy head. You realize you snore like a bear?” Rigs shot him a look. “Do we have to establish that I don’t have people over clause again?” Rodger huffed, putting some food on paper plates, handing one to Riggs as he walked over. “Eat your damn food.”

 

When they were done eating they got a call to go see a crime scene. Rigs was already out the door, Rodger falling behind. “Riggs! Wait!”

 

Riggs turned, standing by his pick up. “What now?” Rodger cleared his throat, tone a lot more serious. “About last night-“ “No. We are not talking about this.” “Riggs, Com’on, it’s something that needs to be talked about.” Riggs was already in his face. “Really cause I’m pretty sure of whatever the hell your gonna say.” “I was gonna say I'd like for us to go out, like, on an actual date.”

 

Riggs had to stop and process that. “You what?” “I said-“ “No I heard you. What I can’t figure out is why? You're married Rodge! It was a one night stand, you let off some steam, glad I could be your whore of the evening-“ “Riggs! It’s not like that!” “But it’s done. You can go crawl back to your wife and apologize for whatever it is the hell you did.”

 

Rodger didn’t get another word in as Rigs got in his truck and drove off.


	2. Chapter 2

 

At the crime scene was no better. Rodger was hoping Riggs had calmed and settled. He knew it was stupid to drink, even worse to actually make a move on his partner who is known to be a bit emotionally constipated and repressive. 

 

At the crime scene, Riggs was no where to be seen. Rodger looked around before getting to the body. “Uhh anyone seen Riggs?”Bailey spoke up. “He said something about getting coffee. Said he slept like shit.” Rodger nodded. “Ok, what do we have?” 

 

Fifteen minutes later Riggs came in, carrying a tray of coffees (for everyone, Rodger can only assume) and two bags of food. He handed out coffee. The rookie asked about the food in the bag and Riggs handed over one bag. “This is for you guys. The other is all mine, don’t touch my food.” The rookie smiled. “Oh I won’t Sir.” 

 

He handed Rodger a coffee, who took it carefully as Riggs spoke. “What do we got Bailey?” While Bailey talked about the latest dead guy, Rodger was staring between Riggs and the coffee in his hand. So many questions and worry flew threw his head, which abruptly stopped when Riggs saw him staring. “Why are you staring at me Rodge?” 

 

Rodger got flustered. “I wasn’t staring, I was thinking.” “Well think without staring at me.” Bailey just looked between the two. “Uh everything ok with you guys?” 

 

“Fine.” Both replied, as Riggs walked away from them, to find clues, Rodger assumed. Bailey sighed. “Ok then.” The resumed looking over the body, Rodger putting the worry into the back of his mind. 

 

At the station while the went over evidence, wasn’t any better. Riggs seemed to completely avoid him the whole day. What room Rodger went into, Riggs left. 

 

Riggs was in the captains office, talking about something when Rodger entered. Riggs shot up from the seat. “You know, I left my stove on, I’ll be right back.” He said as he left the room. 

 

Rodger sighed as Riggs kept walking away. The captain spoke up. “Everything Ok between you two?” Rodger walked in.  “Just fine.” “Are you sure? Because Riggs has been acting a little weird.” Rodger gave him a look, the captain shrugged. “More weird than normal. Hes been avoiding you.” “No kidding.” “Did anything happen? Have a fight?” 

 

Rodger was quiet and the captain picked up on it. “Something did happen.” Rodger shushed him. “Maybe, just..” Rodger closed the blinds and the captain sighed. “What the hell did you do?” 

 

Rodger paced. “Well Trish kicked me out.” “Right.” “So I eventually found my way to Riggs place.” “Uh-huh.” “He might of offered some..alcoholic refreshments-“ “I thought was stopping.” “He didn’t drink. I did enough for the both of us.” “Oh Jesus. Continue.” “Well, I had one too many shots and..” 

 

Rodger stalled, the captain waiting for an answer, for him to finish. Rodger let it out in a breath. “We made out on his couch and did slightly more than making out.” The captains eyes went wide. “Oh.My.God.” Rodger panicked. “I don’t know what happened. You can’t talk to Riggs about it and you definitely can’t tell Trish.” “Are you two getting a divorce?” “I don’t know.  I really don’t know that but I tried to ask Riggs out on a legitimate date and he’s trying to pretend nothing ever happened.” “Typical Riggs?” “Yep.” 

 

The captain stood, opening he blinds. “I wondered how long it was gonna be before something like this happened between you two.”  Rodger gave him a look. “Advice would be nice in my time of need.” The captain smiled. “Sorry, you’re on your own with this one.” Rodger rolled his eyes.  The captain spoke again. “Other than fraternizing with coworkers, found any leads?”  

 

After talking with the captain Rodger went to his desk and looked around and saw no sign of Riggs. He was getting legitimately worried. He worried if he felt guilty for a laundry list of reasons that Rodger isn’t helping with by still being married and he knows Riggs probably won’t ever be over Miranda and he doesn’t blame him but it’s guilt that he carries around like he carries his wallet and he wished he didn’t do that. 

 

Once the work day was done he visited the therapist office, knocking on the door. She smiled. “Rodger, come in.” He walked inside. “Have you seen Riggs today? He’s kinda been avoiding me like the plague.” She frowned. “Is something wrong with him?” “Well something happened between us that he’s not exactly handling well.” “Does he handle anything well Rodger?” “No and that’s why I’m worried.” She sighed.”No. I haven’t seen him. Do me a favor, when you find him text me how he is.” Rodger nodded. “Will do.” And he was out the door. 

 

He gave a few more searches around the office and in the parking lot but didn’t see his pick up. He must have gone home. 

 

Maybe time for him to do the same. It is t fair to ether one to pursue anything, with Trish or Riggs, while still married. Maybe Riggs was right. 

Maybe it is time to end things, on good terms.  

 

Riggs was half asleep when Rodger tried and failed to open the door to the trailer. The door was locked. “Riggs! Man, Com’on!” Riggs groaned as he got up, waking to the door and opening it. “Sorry, guess I forgot.” Rodger gave him a look as he walked in. “Sure. You conveniently forgot I’m crashing here. You’re not just trying to avoid me.” 

 

Riggs went back to laying down on his couch. “Course. Happens all the time.” He then noticed papers in Rodgers hands that his partner was putting on the counter. “What’s that?” Rodger sighed. “They’re divorce papers.” Riggs shot up. “They’re what?!” Rodger looked at him. “Divorce papers. I stopped by the house to talk to Trish about things and although she isn’t happy about it she thinks it might be a good idea too.” 

 

Riggs was quiet until he wasn’t. Rodger counted the seconds until he said something; it was 17. “Why would you think it’s a good idea?! You’ve been married for twenty years, have three kids-“ “who are grown.”  “Just because we fooled around because you drank too much, is not a reason for a divorce! It’s a reason to go talk to a marriage therapist!” “I wouldn’t have signed the papers if she hadn’t or even agreed to it. If she had suggested that I probably would have taken it but she didn’t. She thinks it’s a good idea too.” Riggs looked away before turning and grabbing his own keys.

 

Rodger followed him outside, seeing him get into his pick up. “Riggs, what the hell are you doing?” “I’m talking to Trish myself since you’re a goddamn idiot that would rather divorce her because we made out like teenagers.” “Riggs, stop for five seconds and let me explain what happened-“ And he was gone, sand rolling up from his tires as he drove off. Rodger was left alone on the sand again. He decided to let whatever happens, happens. Maybe Trish can talk some sense into him, maybe calm him down. See some reason and talk things out. She’s a defense attorney. She’s good at talking but this is also Riggs who will avoid feelings like his life depended on it. Rodger went back to the trailer and decided to wait. Maybe send the captain a text update about what’s happening. 

 

Riggs parked so fast his tires squealed in front of Rodgers house. He smoothed his hair best his could and took a few deep breaths, getting out of the car. 

 

Once at the door he hesitated. What if she doesn’t know what happened between them? What if Rodger didn’t include the fact he cheated on her? With him. Who is now at her doorstep. He felt anxiety prickle away but he shoved it down and knocked. This has to be talked about, he can’t be the reason for their divorce. 

 

He knocked three times and waited,heart pounding a full thirty seconds before the door opened, Trish answering in her robe. “Martin, this is an unexpected surprise.” “You can’t divorce Rodger.” She blinked. “Excuse me?” “You can’t divorce him.” She moved out of the way to let him in. “Come inside, we can talk a bit more in depth about this.” He walked inside, feeling more like an invader than a welcome guest. She started a tea kettle and turned to him as he paced. “So why do you think Rodger and I shouldn’t get divorced?” 

 

He took in a breath. “Well for starters you two are perfect together. Until recently and I feel you two should get help than quit.” “Says the man that won’t go to his own therapy sessions.” “Not the point.” “Then what is the point?” Riggs was at a loss for words. He had so much to say in his head and now his mouth will barely move.  “Uh well why do you think this divorce is a good idea?” 

 

She sighed. “A few reasons. One of them is that this isn’t the first rocky patch. We’ve had a few and nothing seems to get resolved. We just kinda push it away and start over which doesn’t resolve anything but we had children and bills but now the children are grown and we’ve just fallen out of each other. The spark isn’t there anymore.” “Well what if you got it back?”

 

Trish chuckled, giving him a look. “What is this really about Martin?” Now Riggs was frozen, tensed up and not wanting to get fucking killed by his partners soon to be ex-wife. But then she continued. “Is this about the other night you had with Rodger in your trailer?” He stayed silent. Maybe if he stayed still she wouldn’t see him but she chuckled again. “Stop being terrified, he told me and I honestly wasn’t surprised. I had a feeling something like this was going to happen one way or the other. I’ve known he’s had feelings for you. The way you two bicker reminds me of Rodger and myself in our younger days.”  

 

He had to sit down. He looked up at her. “Wait...so you’re ok with this? With what he did?” “Well, I wouldn’t say ok as much as half expecting it.” The tea kettle whistled and Trish moves to turn it off, pouring two mugs of green tea. 

 

She handed him one. “You know Rodger talks about you a lot? Any time you’ve had a relapse or a bad day. He worries.” “He tends to do that.” Riggs said as he held his mug, warming his hands. Trish nodded, taking a sip of her tea. “How do you feel about him Martin?” 

 

 

Riggs was quiet for a while, letting that question sink in. “I don’t know.” “Let me word it like this, when he kissed you did you want him to stop?” Riggs took in a breath, scared of his own answer. “No.” Trish nodded. “So there is feelings there.” Riggs stood up, pacing. “I never said anything about feelings. Just that it...it was nice but it was a one time thing. Thats all it was and all I was to him: a one time thing.” “Do you really think Rodger would use you, his best friend, as a one night stand?” Trish shook her head. “Martin, do you think so little of yourself that you think he would do that to you?”

 

 Riggs just sipped his tea. “I’ll plead the fifth on that one.” Trish sighed, taking the tea away once it was on the counter. “Martin, I want you to drive back to your trailer and follow your damn feelings.”  Riggs nodded, standing. “Thank you for the tea.” She walked up to him. “I know I should give you the shovel talk and threaten your knee caps if you hurt him but honestly? That shovel talk belongs to him. Rodger can be the sweetest, most romantic person on earth but sometimes he can get a little stupidly dense.” Riggs chuckled. “You got that right. Thank you, really. You’ve been too kind.” Trish smiled as she hugged him. “Go and be happy. You deserve it.” 

 

Riggs drove back to his trailer and sat in his pick up, again. Waiting anxiously for something. Maybe a sign that this was a good idea? Bad idea? He stared out at the water and got nothing but waves rolling across the sand.  

 

Maybe he could sleep it off in his truck and have an answer in the morning. 

 

A sudden knock on his trucks door startled him, making him shoot up, startled. He heard Rodger before he saw him, curls in his eyesight. “I should have known you slept in your truck. What did Trish have to say?” He moved the hair from his face as he spoke. “Nothing really. We had tea. Apparently you talk about me a lot.” Rodger sighed. “Well excuse me for worrying. Can you clean yourself up, we got work.” 


	3. Chapter 3

Second work day in a row and Riggs was still avoiding him like he had the flu.

 

At a crime scene Riggs would make sure to keep at least six feet or more between them. Which was pretty annoying to Rodger, it made him have to talk louder to get his thought across and his voice didn’t project very well.

 

It came to a pass when Avery called both of them into the office. Rodger noticed Riggs looked ready to run at a moments notice, which wasn’t out of the ordinary a lot of days but there was a nervous energy about him that wasn’t always there.

 

Avery sighed. “You two need to stop avoiding each other. It’s starting to put a hindernce on the scenes and in the station.” Rodger felt flustered, sputtering out. “Me? I’m not avoiding anyone! It’s all him!” Riggs spoke up. “Well if you showered more often Rodge maybe people wouldn’t avoid you.” Rodger turned to him. “Excuse me?” He heard a small chuckle come out of Avery and he glared over.

Avery cleared his throat. “Sorry, not funny. But Riggs, seriously, you need to stop. You can’t run a crime scene with your partner if he’s twelve feet away from you at all times. I know things have been...complicated between you two recently but it’s no excuse-“

Riggs spoke up. “Complicated doesn’t begin to describe it.” He looked at him more sternly. “How are you aware that things are complicated between us?” Avery blushed and sputtered. “Well you’re avoiding him for one.” “Which I do every other week, so what’s so complicated between us this time?” Avery was silent. Not wanting to answer when Riggs turned to Rodger. “You told him?!” Rodger shushed him. “Keep your voice down Riggs. Yes, I did.”“What? Why? What happened to pretending it didn’t happen?” “I never agreed to that.” “So because you didn’t agree to it are you gonna tell everyone or should I do the honors since apparently everyone should be in the know.” Rodgers groaned. “Riggs, it’s nothing like that, I just needed someone to talk to-“ But Riggs was already quickly opening the door and talking very loudly to everyone.

 

“Excuse me everyone! Can I have your attention? Rodger and I made out and fooled around on my couch!” Everyone stared, unsure of what the fuck was actually going on.

 

Bailee looked at the rookie, turning to him in her chair, hand out. “Pay up.” The rookie groaned, getting a twenty out.

 

Rodger saw that, eyes wide. “They bet on us?” Riggs turned to Rodger and Avery. “See Rodge? Now everyone knows! Isn’t that great?” Rodger sighed. What the fuck was he getting into?

 

After hours, after he made sure Riggs truck was out of sight and on his way home, Rodger walked into the therapist office, knocking on the door.

 

She looked up from her Work. “Rodger, what brings you here?” Rodger let out an amused sound as he walked in. “You havnt heard?” She smiled. “I did but it’s my job to ask.” Rodger sighed, sitting down on the couch. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”

 

She stood, going around her desk and to her seat in front of the couch. “What was a good idea?” “Letting Riggs know my feelings. I should have known it would just be chaos. The man can barely handle his own emotions.”

 

“It’s true Riggs doesn’t exactly handle emotions very well but did you ever think that the reason he’s reacting so strongly and defensive is because he has feelings and he’s scared of them?” Rodger frowned. “I do now.” “Just...give him some time. Don’t pressure anything on him and you might see some improvement toward you.” “That would nice. He keeps avoiding me like the plague.” “Try going back to old routines, Riggs tends to root himself into the past and familiar. Hopefully you’ll see some improvement, no promises.”

 

 

When he got to the trailer he was glad to find he wasn’t locked out like last night but Riggs was asleep on his couch/ bed so he probably forgot to passive aggressively lock it to keep him out.

 

He sighed as he placed his case on the counter and sat down in the wicker chair, starting to take his shoes off.

 

Seeing Riggs so relaxed and motionless (seriously the guy sleeps like the dead but can’t stay still during the day) made him want to sleep too.

 

So he dressed quietly as possible into his pajamas and blanket and relaxed on the chair until he was asleep too, dreaming and praying of a smooth day tomorrow and back to somewhat normalcy.

 

He knew he was asking for too much.


End file.
